What to do when your Wedding Guests don't RSVP
In these dynamic, ever-changing rules of wedding etiquette, how do the contemporary brides & grooms manage the simple task of firming up the guest list and nudging the non-repliers to confirm RSVP?
As you lovingly send out the Wedding invitations and the carefully chosen RSVP cards, you excitedly await the RSVP cards to come back as quickly and thoughtfully as they were dispatched. And yet most of the times, this simple 'take for granted' gesture becomes a nightmare for the brides as inevitably some guests will not RSVP or return the reply card to your wedding invitation in time.
Do NOT stress! It is normal. Try some of these time-tested strategies without challenging the traditional wedding etiquette.
Timeline
The magic word, the toughest challenge, but if you nail it, your life is sorted. Creating a schedule helps you to have a realistic picture of what to expect in terms of the average wedding RSVP and gives you a time frame on how much time to allow for your guests to RSVP. Plan backwards from the date of the wedding. By when does the caterer need the final list – that becomes your last date for confirmed RSVP and work back accordingly. There is no ideal time frame. But its always good to manage your RSVP list in three phases.
Choose a mix of Platforms for your guest to respond
This might sound like a logistic nightmare, but you have to keep your varied age group of guests in mind and understand their limitations. Aunt Kelly may not know how to respond digitally, Uncle Lincoln may forget to post the RSVP card, your cousin is too busy to go to the post office. Give your guests options to respond in a mix of digital RSVP s, online or the traditional paper alternative. This strategy covers all your bases, and the Phase one response rate would be higher.
Create a support group
By phase two, your pending list of stragglers is still a big headache in your long To-do list. This is the time to get your forces in action. Create an RSVP Team, a support group and get some help.
Your wedding guest has categories – Family, close relatives, friends, business associates, office colleagues, and so forth. Request one reliable person to be in charge of every type to do your second follow-ups. Let the mum's from both sides handle all the relatives, but if you have an active grandmother – she is the perfect choice to get the relatives' list cracking! Delegate the friend's list to your matron of honor and the best man and your RSVP list gets shorter.
Create a Smart system
Make sure you have a method to view or update your RSVP list. This list is most crucial as the caterer, seating planner, personalized card-maker, party favors, wedding programs need the final number of guests. Choose a platform that is most comfortable for you and your RSVP team may be as simple as a Google sheet, App, online invitation sites so that you have an updated list to view anytime and all the time!
The Final Countdown
Now is the time for you to get in the action. Remember you want these people to be with you on your big day. Start calling. Yes, it is painful, irritating but take a deep breath and make simple hello calls and get the Yes or No. Remember your timeline and just freeze the numbers.
Backup Plan
Inspite of all the planning and calls, you may still have some people who may not respond.
Create a backup plan for a couple unforeseen guests. For the formal wedding where the seating plan is pre-assigned, have an extra table with no assigned seating and order extra food. It is advisable to cater for 25% more food than your final list for the unexpected guests who forgot to RSVP!
Lastly, just enjoy your big day and the process that led up to it………