The Matriarch
As I walk down the memory lane, my most cherished memories are going to my ancestral home for Diwali, where the old majestic haveli awaited us with open arms, filled with colour, noises, excitement of the upcoming festivities. The centre of attraction was always
our Biji, sitting in her room, adorned with a simple printed saree and a million dollar smile.
Her love and preference for her grandsons was no secret, yet we got our share of hugs, goodies and shaguns, which we would extract by hook or by crook, owing to our large number (as we granddaughters outnumbered the boys), and it soon became our ritual. She would pretend to be reluctant and we would love to fight for our share and after a hearty laugh, she would dole out our goodies, even an increase in the ‘shagun rate’ I demanded as I moved from rupees to dollars!
As the families shorten today and the relationships flounder, I am proud to be a part of a family where our elders have been role models, imbibing the values imparted by their mother. Where we ‘cousins’ are not just a ‘faraway relations’ but integral part of each other’s lives till date, intertwined by a bond so strong, inculcated within us from childhood.
As a woman I have to admire her courage to spend more than half her life without her better half, earn the respect of the whole family, to be cherished by three generations and stand tall as the proud matriarch of the Malik family. It takes a strong will, iron determination and boundless love to hold together a large family of our stature. Till the end, she weaved us into the colourful fabric of our traditions, honour and love, binding us together even as we branched out in various directions. She became the anchor and the nucleolus of our family molecule, creating a stronger, immortal bond with passing time.
The biggest lesson that I pass on to my daughter – the 4thgeneration, is the ability to manage relationships and how a woman is instrumental in holding generations together, binding the family tightly, disseminating discord fairly and taking responsibility conscientiously.
Each one of us today have different challenges in our lives. As I sit in a foreign land, I try harder to still be connected to my family and brothers and sisters. I ensure that my children are connected to their roots and have the same bonds that bind us. I try to juggle the various balls of roles and responsibilities BUT my steps do not flounder - Because I have been taught by the best- my biji…..
Each life is a story that impacts our character, shapes our personalities and teaches us some life lessons. I consider myself most blessed to learn from my ‘Biji’s” story - How to stand tall amongst all odds, to be gracious in strife, to lead with an iron hand and loving heart, to learn the value and strength of prayers, the true meaning of a loving family and the confidence to be a woman...
We all carry something of you in us Biji…..and always shall…..